You know your a Republican if:

Image from Wikipedia

Are you a republican?

1. your an old white male
2. you have one or more yachts
3. you have 3 or more homes
4. currently have, are looking for or recently broke up with your mistress
5.  you own or have use of a private aircraft
6. think medicare should be eliminated
7. think social security should be eliminated
8. you are in the top 2% income bracket
9. you pay little or no taxes and cheat on the ones you do pay
10.  you have a 500,000 dollar or more credit line at Tiffany's
11. you own significant amounts of gold
12. you are an avid church goer and/or evangelist
13. you believe your personal beliefs are more important that women's rights/gay rights.
14. you feel the need to apologize to corporations if they have to pay taxes or fines
15. you believe Global Climate Change is a hoax
16. you believe evolution is a hoax and creationism should be taught in schools
17. you believe the earth is 7000 years old
18. you believe public education is against your best interests and should be stopped anyway possible
19. You believe you are smart and the public isn't
20. you watch Fox news exclusively
21. you believe mass transportation is for the masses and you are not one of the masses
22. you think wars are great but would never fight in one
23. you said "drill baby drill" anytime in the last 3 years
24.  Russia is visible from your house
25. you believe aid for disaster relief needs to be cut from other programs
26. instead of raising taxes on corporations or the wealthy, thousands dying without medical care is a sacrifice you are willing to make.
27. you would rather pass laws limiting abortion than laws creating jobs
28. you believe in trickle down economic theory (here's a picture of republican trickle down economic theory at work in an American City) Warning Graphic!
29. You believe that its good to reduce revenues without reducing spending and you did that for a decade. 

Six years ago, “it was standard practice not to pay for things,” said Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah. “We were concerned about it, because it certainly added to the deficit, no question.”